Why do I want to blog?

I realized that I had registered on Blogger back in 2016, but I never got around to writing anything. At that time, in 2016, I hadn’t received my autism diagnosis, I was feeling incredibly low at times, trying to secure a new job. I had one in the pipeline, but I didn’t know how far away it was. I felt like a failed salesman in my profession, a failed father in my family, and like a failed person as my social network seemed to shrink. Even then, I sought other ways to make a living, or at least some side income for my hobbies.

During the fall of 2022, I found myself unemployed again, but this time, I had a bit more insight into how I function, what’s happening in my surroundings, and most importantly, I realized that the troll within me is the one causing trouble in my life. I started writing to vent my frustration, and one thing led to another. When I met my occupational therapist, she thought I should continue writing, and I do so when the mood strikes. An autism blog where I can express my thoughts and reflections might be something that can help me. I believe it can help you too; the proof is that you’re reading my text and have similar thoughts about autism as me.

Today, I think like this: if my thoughts can help someone else frustrated with their life, or if my writing can create understanding for non-trolls about how trolls operate, then it’s something good. I hope my writing can help others in my situation or those with lost loved ones who are trolls. I’m aware that when I publish what I write, I expose myself to the opinions of other trolls, the judgments of the surroundings, but above all, I will become even more self-critical. It’s both good and bad. My first thought was to write a book, but that’s an aging medium. The next thought was to try to apply as a summer speaker for listeners, as if anyone is interested in listening to me for an hour. It’s barely likely that even my wife could handle that. I already write in forums, but it doesn’t always feel good because when you do, you naturally encounter other trolls who know exactly how I function and what I should do.

A blog is also a medium that isn’t super hyped, but the format might suit me. I also realized that during the fall of 2022, I had already written about 25 finished posts, so I’ll be able to post one or two entries per week for at least six months without tiring myself out. Maybe it’s an autism symptom; you burn strongly for something, at least initially. I will have a window where I can vent some frustration about job searching and feeling hopeless, but it’s also a window where I can write about the good things happening in my life. I plan to try to write or post a few entries per week where I do or reflect on something I find enjoyable or successful. Also, maybe an entry where I write or reflect on things that aren’t as fun, maybe even depressing. As a reader, you’re welcome to leave your own thoughts in the comments section. I will read them with joy because I hope all comments will help develop me as a person, both positive and negative ones.