Love and Autism: Navigating Relationships

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Valentines, well, of course, it’s about love and autism today.

Love and Autism, will it ever work out?
The best thing in my life is my wife and family.

You heard that I’m married, and now you might be wondering, how does love and autism work?? Sometimes, it doesn’t work at all – that’s the straightforward answer. Conflicts with my wife and son are both common and challenging. Loving someone with autism can be incredibly frustrating at times. I had thought about ending my relationship with my wife just a month into it. Luckily, I didn’t. I’m sure she’s had the same thought as many times as I have. When I weigh the positive aspects of our relationship against the negatives, I realize how much work I have ahead. We complement each other, excelling where the other struggles. Loving someone with autism is frustrating, and I speak from personal experience. It’s not just my son living with autism; several people around me have lived their entire lives with clear autistic traits.

Do you love someone with Autism, please comment.

Trolls can feel and express love in ways different from neurotypicals. As a troll myself, I can only account for my feelings. Sometimes, my emotions are overwhelmingly strong, taking over, while at other times, the same feeling is less intense but equally important, if not more so. My wife felt like she got a new husband when we got a dog, as I expressed my emotions more openly with the pet. My feelings for the dog are nowhere near as strong as for my son and wife, perhaps why I dare to show them. My personal integrity is crucial, so I don’t reveal what I truly feel about my surroundings. That I think about my father every day, ten years after his death, is not something I show outwardly, just as I don’t think as much about other important people in my life. The dog, which plays and makes me laugh, is not as important to me, so I dare to show my emotions. If it’s perceived that I love the dog more than my son, my surroundings must accept that. I know the reality is not like that.

Living with someone who cries over a trivial matter for you while being ice-cold over the loss of their mother must be tough. But for those living with a troll, they might experience these contradictions. The only thing you can be sure of is that if the troll says it loves you, it’s utterly sincere. And if you’re unsure, you can always ask, but be prepared – you’ll get a straight answer that may hurt your feelings.

Maybe everyone with Autism should come with a manual?

A while ago, I met a woman who have a family with an autistic man. We chatted for a while, and I realized she was my former colleague’s partner. Besides being very nice, she said something I found very wise. She said, besides loving her partner, she wished for one thing – that he could have come with an instruction manual explaining how he functions. It would have undoubtedly made everyday life easier. Juggling two small children with autism works, but it’s not super easy every day; it requires both patience and a great deal of understanding. But they say love is blind; I believe love chooses to see the good and ignore the bad.

So, on this Valentine’s Day, I just want to say one thing. Remember that everyone is different, expressing emotions in different ways, but it doesn’t mean the feelings are fake. Seize the day, especially on Valentine’s, to tell those you care about how you truly feel. Love and autism can work and thrive, there’s no better day than today to express your feelings!”


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